Our baby boy finally arrived!
Jude Barrett Cole was born on 2 September (Labor Day!) at 7:35 am. The big guy weighed in at 4.36 kg and 55 cm long. WOAH. Don't even get me started on that fat head! The boy is precious, and we are so in love.
The last few weeks have been very "sink or swim", with us mostly treading water. Shout out to Matthew, the most amazing husband/father/friend in the entire world for keeping our ship afloat. I had a bit of a rough recovery, so Matt was Mr. Mom for the first two weeks. Not only was he my rock during labor, but I don't know how we would have gotten on without him in the first weeks. He continues to amaze me with his dedication to our little family even as he's gone back to work. He truly loves his son.
Many people have asked me for our birth story. Please forgive any grammatical errors as we are working on very little sleep around here :)
Jude Barrett Cole
Birth Story
It all
started in the early morning of September 1st. Matt was watching the first Auburn game of
the season in the living room where I had been camping out for a couple of
weeks due to sleep issues in our bed. A
little after the third quarter had started, around 3 am our time, I woke up
with what felt like menstrual cramps.
Not really knowing their significance, but also not able to fall back
asleep, I woke up and finished the game with him. Tigers won J
After the game, around 4:35 am, we
decided to call our amazing doula, Tara.
She said it sounded like I was going into labor and to try to get as
much rest as I could. Matt decided to go
ahead and pick up some ice while I rested, and when he got back, as I was
unable to really sleep, we both started getting things ready. He set up the birthing pool, cleaned the
house, and rearranged our furniture while I got snacks ready for the birthing
crew. It was around 9 am by the time we
were done, and we checked in with Tara, and called our midwife, Alexa, who had
planned to stop by for a checkup. We
decided to call Tara later as things progressed as we were laboring together
quite well, but we honestly didn’t know what to expect.
Around noon, Alexa showed up. We hadn’t called her to come, but she had a
“feeling” and decided to stop by. We are
so glad she did, because things were picking up and we didn’t realize I was
able to get in the pool already - a very welcome discovery. Matt started filling up the pool, and Alexa
got busy adding boiling water from the stove.
We called Tara and told her to head our way around 2:00 pm, and asked
our birth photographer, Jennifer, to come a half hour later.
By two, the pool was warm enough,
and I hobbled in around the time Tara and Jennifer showed up. I cannot express how amazing it felt! Weight was lifted and surges were so much easier
to handle. I would camp out in the pool
for the next five or so hours, breaking in between for trips to the
restroom. As I was in the pool I talked
with Jennifer and Matt about what was going on around the world, to know what
the headlines would be when Jude was born (I still thought he was going to be
born this day!). I remember us talking
about Diana Nyad attempting to swim from Havana to Key West for the fifth
time. I mentioned something about
jellyfish stopping her before, and muttered more than once “damn jellies.” She would later make it to Florida, the very
day Jude was born, and exclaim, “Never give up!” What a perfect headline for my baby boy’s
birthday.
On one trip back to the pool from
the restroom a gorgeous photo was taken of Matt applying pressure to my lower
back as I leaned over the tub; one of my favorite photos of the labor. I don’t know what I would have done without
my love…
I believe it was around 7:00 pm or
so that Alexa and Tara suggested I get out of the pool and rest on the couch
for a few hours. Reluctant, though
exhausted, Matt helped me to the couch to catch some shuteye in between
surges. With every waking surge, Matt
held my hand, never leaving my side.
It was midnight or so that I moved
to the restroom, unable to catch any more rest.
Matt came with me, of course, and I labored there for two or three hours
straight by candlelight. By three I felt
pressure and told Matt I needed to get in the pool ASAP. Alexa, Tara, and even Jennifer got on it
right away, and within the half hour I was back in the tub. This is where things became intense.
I began to feel extreme pressure in
my lower back and bottom, and it felt like the baby was going to exit the wrong
way, if you know what I mean. I tried
different positions in the pool, most of the time holding onto the side while
kneeling. Very shortly I felt the urge
to push, still not feeling pressure up front.
I always thought I would be silent during this process, but nature took
over and I complimented every push with a primal scream, which got louder with
time. It wasn’t so much I was pushing at
this point, but more like surrendering to my body. My water bag hadn’t broken yet, and Alexa
came to me and asked me to visualize it popping. She asked Matt and I to speak to my body and
say, “Water bag break”, which is something we said with every “push” for an
hour and a half or so. Matt said this
was very difficult for him because he saw me in such a process for so long, and
wanted to see obvious progress.
And so, for what seemed forever, we
prayed to my water bag to break. The
surges became more and more intense, with three back-to-back and short breaks
between. I began to feel pressure in the
front, and with one large surge, I felt a pop between my legs. My bag broke!
Matt said he cried with relief, and I knew the time was growing
closer. I saw the sun begin to rise
again and thought, “Damn. It’s been more
than a day!” But I didn’t lose my focus,
and grew more and more focused on the task at hand.
Tara reminded me about our birthing
playlist, composed of songs we wanted the baby to hear first, including a song
for a boy or a girl. This playlist would
go on for the next two hours or so, but I thought we were minutes away. I kept looking at Tara, exhausted, asking,
“This is progress?” She would smile,
sometimes tear up, and remind me “yes!” and that we were almost there.
And then the pressure in the front
came. This was one of the most
challenging parts for me, and I remember coming back to the pool from a
restroom break, feeling as if a brick were about to drop out of me. I’ve never felt so heavy! I pushed and pushed, and then pushed some
more. Jude’s heart rate was stellar the
entire time, never dropping below 120.
I’m certain this is why were able to stay at home and not transfer,
along with the bag breaking late.
Finally, the head. Alexa said, “go to your baby”, and I thought,
"There is no way I can feel his head." But I could!
That beautiful squishy little noggin (who am I kidding, it was LARGE)
was just about to make its way out. This
gave me solace that we surely were almost there. I took Matt’s hand to feel and he couldn’t
believe it! A series of pushes later, he
was closer! His head would go out, then
come back in. This was necessary to
prevent tearing, but I felt it went on longer than I would have liked. So frustrating! Alexa kept whispering, “Brittany, go to your
baby. Show it the way.” So of course I did. I prayed to the baby to come into the world;
we were ready! I was in a near sitting
position grabbing Matt’s hands and pulling to provide resistance with each push
when I felt the head finally leave my body.
This was exhilarating and painful at the same time – my baby was almost
out!
His head was out for some time, and
Alexa asked me to stand up. The gravity
was excruciating yet necessary, and finally Jude was minutes from our
world. I had one series of pushes in
which I used every muscle in my body to push, and he was one shoulder in, one
out. Alexa likes babies to be born
without her assistance, but she helped him out and all of the sudden I felt him
slide away, into the water and her hands.
It was 7:35 am on September 2nd, 2013, and I was finally a
mother! I instinctively reached behind
to grab my baby and move him to my chest.
The cord was too short, so I lifted up my leg and we passed him
through. No one even thought to check if
he was a boy or a girl – we were just elated to have a baby! I sat in the water and brought him to my chest,
as warm towels appeared to cover his precious body.
He was perfect.
Matt and I stared in
disbelief. I cried, then laughed, and
looked at Matt to find him in tears.
This was the first time I had noticed him crying, and I couldn’t stop
smiling! We finally looked and saw a
penis. A BOY! We were thrilled! I kissed him and kissed him and welcome him
the world exclaiming, “Happy birthday, Jude!”
And then we heard his song in the background some minutes later –
“Beautiful Boy (Darling Boy)”.
Within a couple of minutes I wanted
to transfer to the sofa to deliver the placenta and go ahead and nurse as Jude
was trying to crawl to my breast, but the cord kept him short. I laid down, my baby on my breast, as Alexa
asked Matt to stimulate so I could deliver the placenta. This is something I would have never thought
my husband would do, but he didn’t skip a beat.
Within minutes, the placenta was born and Jude latched. I was too busy staring at Jude to notice how
busy Alexa, Tara, and Matt were. I was
bleeding, apparently 1.5 liters escaped, and they were trying to stop it. Alexa quickly cut a couple of pieces of my
placenta and put them in my mouth as Matt grabbed the frozen condoms from the
freezer made just for this purpose. He
then ran to make me a smoothie as voices told me to swallow the placenta,
something that was difficult for me to do.
Hands appeared with lifesavers that were shoved into my mouth, followed
by Gatorade, and finally a delicious smoothie.
All the while Alexa had prepared the Pitocin while I was trying to
figure out what was going on. I just
stared at Jude, then at Matt who looked more shocked than anything. I asked Tara, “Is everything OK?” She kept her resolve, and promised me “yes”,
though I think she, too, was a bit nervous.
But it worked, just as promised,
before Pitocin had to be administered.
The bleeding stopped, and though I was weak, I was fine. Alexa asked if I wanted to transfer to the
hospital. I asked what they would do and
if she thought it was necessary. She
said they would give me an IV and monitor me for a few days, but she could do
the same. I didn’t want to transfer, and
I trusted her judgment. I truly felt I
would be taken better care of at home, not having to deal with the trauma of a
transfer. I just kept thinking, “They’ll
take my baby away” and I didn’t want anyone touching my son.
I was stable, but weak, and Alexa
suggested I hand over Jude to Matt and get some rest while she monitored
me. I handed my son to his father, who
instinctively grabbed his sweatshirt and swaddled his baby tight. I was out, exhausted from a nearly 30-hour
labor and blood loss. But I was never
afraid – I received better care at home than I ever would have at a hospital.
Alexa stayed with us until nearly
dinnertime, and checked on us again around 9:00 pm. Matt and I were so high on life, and lost in
our son’s eyes, that we stayed up and talked, calling family and friends, when
we should have been asleep. Nothing
could bring us down from the most amazing day of our lives.
Our big boy. While Alexa was working on me, he was handed to Matt. Instinctively, Matt grabbed his Auburn sweatshirt and swaddled our naked babe. The beauty of a home birth...
It's a boy! First - and only - time I've ever seen my love cry.
Freshly swaddled Jude in Papa's arms.
Working through a surge in the final moments.
Stopped in my tracks by a surge. Matt was always there to help.
That's it for now! I'll continue to update as we progress in this beautiful (mad/crazy!) journey.
